What do we look for in relationships?

We all go through several stages of relationships in our lifetime. If you observe very closely, whichever stage we are in, when we ask for love we are actually asking only for the other person’s attention. That is not love When we say a person doesn’t love us, we actually mean that the other person doesn’t give us enough attention. The basic need for any human being is attention from others. The attention need, along with our dependency on others for survival, is what we call love.

The dependency on others might be psychological, physical or spiritual. For example, when you expect someone to lend you a shoulder to cry on, you are dependent upon that person psychologically. When you expect someone to provide you with money or fulfill your bodily pleasures, you are dependent upon them physically. In whatever way people may fulfill this dependency, what it boils down to is the attention that they give us! The whole idea of what we think of as love is nothing but getting the attention of the other in some way. Love is not something we need, love is an energy that flows from us unconditionally.